Of 2001, that is. :-) Unless Stubby or Nolan or Jesse or Will or Evan or anyone else that still has the password decides to sneak in a last minute update just to make me look foolish. In fact, the more I think about it the more it sems like a very poor headline. Let's just move on and forget about it, shall we?

Before we start on the new map demos I think we should take a little look at Jozsef Szalontai's latest Id improvement. He has taken a second off of one of my favourite demos, Peter's Easy 100% of Castle of the Damned. Now, I'm all in favour of people showing off their skillz, but the bunny he does to the silver key is just outrageous, he seems to start it from half way across the room and damn near lands on the key ledge. Normally I would have given this 0:50 a Must Download but Joe says that he's sure he can do a 0:49...

Moving on to the new maps, we have received a whole pile of demos for the runs on dnspq1.

• As usual, Jonny Andersson sent in a couple of demos before he'd even finished downloading the map. And to be honest they're not bad at all.
  • He did the Easy Run in 0:12.
  • And the Nightmare Run in the same way, also for 0:12.
• But it wasn't very long before Basil de Vries entered the Ogre Grenade Jumping fun.
  • He did the Easy Run in 0:09.
  • And the Nightmare Run in 0:08.
• But showing us all how it's done with a magnificent mid air bunny/ogre grenade combo is the Russian Optimising Machine Valeriy Burmistrov.
  • He did the Easy Run in 0:08.
  • And the Nightmare Run in 0:07.
• And also worthy of an honourable mention on this map are those that were too slow (sending demos in) or too slow (doing the runs). Hannu Kankaanpää, Thomas Bergendorff and Arturo Garcia Lasca.

spring2 continues to get a lot of attention.

• Once again Jonny was the fastest to submit a demo. The Easy 100% in 0:43.
• This time it was Jozsef that quickly improved it to 0:34.
• But Basil wasted no time in improving that by another second to 0:33.
• And he also did a Nightmare 100% table filler in 2:13, but the dz file was corrupt. Incidently, Basil has submitted multiple demos on four different maps over the last few days and has managed to get the demo naming wrong on every single one! I'm sure this is some kind of record, even for Basil. ;-)
• We also received our first coop on this map from Anders Nordensten and Martin Selinus. They did a, well, fairly good Easy 100% in 0:24. (0:33)
• Honourable mentions to BlacK_OuT (good to see you back with us :-)) and SDA newcomer Oldrich Vohradnik who both sent in impressive demos but too late to get on the tables.

Still no demos on the jjspq levels but we have our first Easy 100% through hc courtesy of everybodies favourite little cuddle-bunny Ilkka Kurkela. If you believe his .txt file he actually did this 0:55 over two years ago but you know what Ilkka's like. He'll say anything to try and impress us. ;-)

Another map that seems to have gained populatity over the last few hours is prison.

• No prizes for guessing who sent in the first Easy Run demo. It was, of course, PrettyBalls. He managed to do a 0:37.
• Jozsef added a double ogre grenade jump (and made it look really easy) to take the time down to 0:30.
• But it was all for nothing because Thomas Bergendorff soon found it was two seconds quicker to just bunny and rocket his way around the map. 0:28.
• There has only been a single attempt at the Nightmare Run so far. Amrik Kochhar has turned in this 0:36 table filler.

Only one n3sp03 demo this time. Anders and his brother (ANOTHER SDA first timer) Per Nordensten have done the Easy Run in 1:28. (1:32) To be honest this map is not really suited to coop runs but for a first demo I suppose it's important to take it easy and not burn yourself out.

And before I go I would like to say a big fat thank-you on behalf of the SDA crew to everyone that has submitted a demo this year. Without you this would be a pretty pointless site. So thanks to (in "last demo submitted" order) Anders Nordensten, Jonny Andersson, Jozsef Szalontai, Basil de Vries, Kimmo Polvivaara, Thomas Bergendorff, Amrik Kochhar, Dan Stukanev, Arturo Garcia Lasca, Ilkka Kurkela, Aleksander Osipov, Marlo Galinski, Fern, Wim Loones, Rutger Baks, Valeriy Burmistrov, Carl Tholin, Daniel Hansson, Martin Selinus, Niklas Wikstrand, Jordi Ros, Hannu Kankaanpaa, Daniel Andersson, Robert Axelsson, David Hocking, Thomas Stubgaard, Timo Nieminen, Tim Doherty, Attila Csernyik, Peter Horvath, Nolan Pflug, Markus Taipale, Mads-Peter Stubgaard, Daniel Magnusson, Johan Nilsson, Stefan Schwoon, Daniel Lindberg,Will Marsh, Rickard Axelsson, Matt Claydon, Fredrik Eckers, Mark Ferrer, Ingmar Poerner, Shambler, Fredrik Lindblom, Mattias Öman, Andrey Stepanov, Andrey Tanarov, Carl-Johan Andersson, Justin Fleck, Robin Kuivinen, Filip Soderholm, Peter Abrahamsson, KimSvea, Martin Thorning, Damien, Evan Wagner, Juozas Rimas, Attila Molnar, Brad Gross, David Gunderson, Rebecca Axelsson, Ludvig Sjostrand, Sara Hansson, Cameron Engles, Mikael Woolfe, Sergi Cami, Simon Nordberg, Jesse van Dijk and Vlad Burmistrov, and also to everybody that's entered a demo in the Run Of The Whenever and made it such a success. And finally a big wet kiss to those that have just supported us by watching the demos. Let's keep up the good work and make 2002 an even better year. *sniff* I love you guys... *sniff*

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Holy shit! I was going to leave the new map demos until tomorrow but I guess I'm going to have to do at least this one now...

Within a couple hours of posting the maps I got a beep on ICQ from Jonny Andersson asking "Am I the first to do a 0:06 on spring2?"
And indeed he beat (in the order they were received) Anders Nordensten, Hannu Kankaanpää, Thomas Bergendorff, Valeriy Burmistrov and Basil de Vries to get 0:06 for the Easy Run and 0:06. for the Nightmare Run. Fast work Jonny. :-)

And then just a short while later we received another demo. I'll just give you a little quote from the .txt...

"Sorry for those who thought :06 will be enough. It ain't ;)"

...and with these words Jozsef Szalontai showed us all how a double grenade jump should be done and did the Easy Run in 0:05. This has got to be the fastest optimisation ever.

That's all for the new maps until tomorrow. All I'll say is that unless you have done a REALLY exceptional Run on that blue map don't bother to send it in, Valeriy has been going mad on it...

Jozsef truly is in unstoppable form at the moment.

• He has improved his recent Nightmare Run of Satan's Dark Delight by one second (as we all knew he would :-)) to get 0:38.
• And he then went and p1mped it up all over Markus's Easy Run and got a 0:36 by using the yellow armour to allow him to squeeze in even more rocket boosts. One second faster.
• And now it's time for anyone with a Hipnotic record to start to worry. Because Joe's done his first ever SoA run, and he's started right at the beginning with the Easy Run of hip1m1 one second faster than Ilkka's thought (by me) to be optimum run. 0:17 MUST DOWNLOAD.

Alex's Easy Run of n3sp03 was never going to last long. After all, he missed the blindingly obvious slope/grenade jump up to the exit.

• Anders Nordensten, on the other hand, is never one to miss the obvious and so he managed to do the run 38 seconds faster. 1:33
• But Kimmo Polvivaara managed to get stuck on slightly less monsters and so did it one second faster to get 1:32. The bunnying on the bridge over the lava is just insane. How he doesn't fall in I just don't know.
• But Anders won't be too worried because he has also done the first Nightmare Run on this excellent map. This 1:45 is a little slow as he manages to screw up several grenade boosts in the outside section and only gets back up to speed by doing a very nice grenade boost off a scrag. :-)

And we have our first demos on the very tricky n3sp03_2. It seems the threat of being shafted by Stubby has spurred some people into action.

• Amrik Kochhar has done a great Easy Run in 0:48.
• And after several months away (rumours that he's been in prison for "sheep worrying" are completely unfounded) Basil de Vries has come powering back back with some impressive demos.
  • He did the Easy 100% in 1:09.
  • And the nightmare run in 0:54.
  • And finally the Nightmare 100% in 1:11. Lots of monster in-fighting and very nearly a fried Basil. :-)

Marlo Galinski wasn't happy with his Easy 100% of czg03, or the fact it took a few days to get onto the tables, so he has done a 10 second improvement to get 4:21.

And what update would be complete without Dan Stukanev improving one of his own records. Once again he's attacked the Nightmare Run of ih1m4 and this time managed to take it down by one more second to 0:36.

And our final demos tonight are all from the man sometimes known as "The True Spirit Of Christmas", Thomas Bergendorff. No one is quite sure why he's known as this because he's a miserable, selfish bum who hates children and likes to kick small, fluffy animals but there you go, there's no accounting for some people.

• He started of doing several demos on damaul3b.
  • He did the Easy 100% (1/2 secrets) in 0:47, two seconds faster than Justin Redmond.
  • Then the Nightmare 100% (1/2 secrets) in 0:48, three seconds faster than his previous time.
  • And finally the Nightmare Run in 0:27, one second faster than Justin Redmond and knocking Justin's final record off of the SDA tables.
• And to finish up he did the Nightmare 100% of tspe three seconds faster than his previous to get 1:19.

And if you still crave more demos after that lot then head on over to the Run Of The Whenever because THE RESULTS ARE UP. I don't think I've ever seen such a diverse set of routes and tactics and the last ten seconds of the winning demo need to be watched in slow motion to even start to appreciate what's going on...

Stay tuned for all the rest of the new map demos and anything else I might have forgotten this time.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

That's right, folks. It's once again time for some new maps to be added for your running and viewing pleasure.

The first two of these are a little bit special because they're made by people who's name you might just about recognise if you've been paying attention...

• We'll start with hc - The Hidden Castle by Marlo Galinski. Marlo made this map quite some time ago but has only just found the courage to bring it to our attention... The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map hic_xxx.
• Next we have spring2 - Spring Cleaning 2 by David "Snoop" Hocking, based on Spring Cleaning, Jack Meacher's entry to the 100 brush mapping contest. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map sp2_xxx.

The other four maps are all small/medium and seem very runable so top marks to Stubby for digging them out.

• First up we have jjspq1 - Vigil Of The Night by Vigil. The map is available from here with a review by that bloke that used to do level reviews, you know, old what's-his-name, here. Please call your demos for this map jj1_xxx.
• Next we have the follow up, jjspq2 - Unseen Assailant also by Vigil. The map is available from here with a review by Shambles here. Please call your demos for this map jj2_xxx.
• Our next new map is dnspq1 - Dark, Blue, Scary... by Dan Naoumov. If you like small, blue maps then you'll love this. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map dnsp_xxx.
• And finally we have prison - Prison by Anders Gustavsson. The map is available from here. Please call your demos for this map pris_xxx.

We've also received a bulging sackful of very cool demos over the last few days but I'm afraid I've just run out of time so I'll post them later today or tomorrow. Trust me, they're worth the wait. We've got demos from Swedes, Finns, Germans, Idiots, Hungarians, Russians, Trinidadians and all sorts of other foreign types.

And don't forget that today is the last day for entries to the latest Run of the Whenever - The Janitor. I have to say that I just love this map, and even though I've tried about a bazillion different routes I've still only managed to come up with a demo that, frankly, sucks donkey arse. I can't wait to see what the rest of you guys have done, though. :-)

Hey there, folks! It's time once again to bring you another late edition of SDA Update. I'll be your host for the evening, or at least until I fall into another alcoholoic coma. Have you ever tried drinking Tia Maria and Baileys? It's a bit of a girl's drink but it blows your brain out of the top of your head after a pint or two. So before I start pissing in my trousers, telling you all that you're my best friend and I love you, or trying to start a fight with some invisible enemy let's get on with the action. And in tonights fine set of demos you will notice that I've also quoted the decimal places on some of them. That's because half tonights demos are actually in the x:xx.0, x:xx.1 and x:xx.2 range and really should be improved again soon...

Let's begin with THREE ID improvements.

• Ilkka Kurkela has been Fighting Against The Fractions[tm] on The Door to Chthon and has managed to recapture his Easy 100% from Martin. This is an awesome demo, check out his .txt to see how long he's been working on this. And you just have to admire the roof-rocket jump. 0:47. MUST DOWNLOAD
• Jozsef Szalontai truly is the Bunny Machine. He has produced a brilliant demo on Azure Agony that has improved Markus's long standing Easy Run record by one second. This particular run has a lot of history behind it. Do you remember the heady days of 1998 when Evan, Justin and Ilkka kept us all glued to our seats with their fight to the death over this run, and then the next year Markus came along and destroyed them all? Well now Joe has done this 0:44 and thrown the gauntlet down to Mr Taipale. Will he pick it up? MUST DOWNLOAD
• Joe has also improved the Nightmare Run on the ID level with my favourite name, Satan's Dark Delight. He managed to do it more than one and a half seconds faster than Robert to get 0:39.338. I don't think 0:38 would be that hard to get for one of the big guns...

Now for the first two demos on n3sp03. But before we see the demos I'd just like to warn you all that unless we get some more demos on these two maps soon Stubby has threatened to come round and see each and every one of in turn and anally violate you with his fearsome Viking weapon. You've been warned.

• Safe from the attentions of Stubby's pork sword is Aleksander Osipov who has done a very impressive Easy Run in 2:11. A few mistakes but he was drunk at the time so fair enough.
• And because I didn't think my arse was up to the battering I did the Nightmare 100% in the rip-roaringly fast time of 8:50. There's a couple of big mistakes here, mostly for the same reason as Alex's. :-)

Dan Stukanev has turned his attention back to ih1m4, the bizarrely named Castle of Bad Die. He has used his ever improving bunny skillz (see the 100m run he has included in the .dz if you don't believe me) to wipe two seconds off of his previous Nightmare Run. 0:37.26.

The battle for the Easy Run of tohnsay continues with Amrik Kochhar taking his record back from Wim by one second by using the lift slope jump and bunny through the roof beams to get 1:31. And then the next day he improved it again by adding another grenade boost off a grunt to get 1:30. In fact this is 1:30.1 so I don't think this is the end of this little saga.

And we'll finish off with another crop of cool demos from the prolific Arturo Garcia Lasca.

• He started off by recapturing both of the dma1 100% demos from Amrik.
  • Firstly he took two seconds off of the Easy 100% with some nice mad rocket firing. 0:21.
  • And then he managed a one second improvement to the Nightmare 100% to get 0:21.06. It doesn't come much close than that. :-)
• He also did the DeathKnight fire jump on oblivion and was a little lucky with the shambler behaviour to get this 0:20.24 Nightmare Run, one second faster than Robert.

Before you go check out this picture of some of our Swedish brothers at the recent DreamHack LAN party. Judging from Pixlas's message I don't think he'll be sending in any n3sp03 demos, and as for what the boy Marv has in his hand, well all I'll say is that it's nice to see standards being maintained. :-)

That's all for this time. Stay tuned for another new set of maps any day now, just as soon as I can dig out the URLs.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Ok, cheesy headline I know, but it was the most appropiate I could come up with. It sorta suits the current state in Denmark, not that it bothers me, I love snow and raging winds :)

First up we have a new map, well actually it's one HUGE map and one small but hellish map. You're not a man if you haven't completed these maps on Nightmare skill killing every monster! Personally, this is one of the coolest custom Quake maps I've played in 4 years. It has the atmosphere, sounds and amount of monsters from Doom, and the Cradle of Filth grunt choir is just awesome! You gotta love them Fire-Shamblers too :) Even though most speedrunners prefer small maps, Richard and I simply couldn't resist adding this map to SDA.

• After several weeks of bugging him, Nolan finally got his act together and finished the progs for n3sp03 - At the Gates of Midian by Necros. The map is available here. Review by Shambler here. You MUST use this progs in order to submit valid demos. Please name your demos for these maps n3_xxx and n3b_xxx.

Next up we have some demos and some very nice ones indeed:

• Let's kick it off with a masterpiece by the Hungarian Bunny Machine (he certainly deservers that title now), also known as Jozsef Szalontai. With incredible bunnies and a spikeboost he managed to beat Ilkka's 'thought to be optimized' Easy Run of e4m5, by one fat second to get 0:11. MUST DOWNLOAD!!!
• Staying on the ID maps Martin Selinus improved Timo's Easy 100% of e2m3 by 2 seconds to get 1:09.
• Wim Loones is back with a neat demo on tohnsay. He improved Amrik's Easy Run by 1 second to get 1:32.
• The past two weeks Arturo Garcia Lasca has been on a mission, and today is no different as he continues his quest to own every custom map!
• First he improved Justin's Easy Run of epoch by 1 second to get 0:57.
• Then he improved his own Nightmare Run of pb1 by 2 seconds to get 0:36.
• He then moved on to improve DanielH's Easy 100% of frbdbase by 1 second to get 0:44.
• Staying on the same map he improved DanielA's Nightmare too by 1 second to get 0:34.
• And finally he improved Justin's Nightmare 100% as well by 3 seconds to get 0:45.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

I'll end this update with a link to the cheated site. Peter Horvath did his first cheated demo.....

Merry Christmas to everyone and a God Jul to the scandinavian speaking contries :)

Just before I head off to get myself loaded with beers, I thought I'd bring to your attention that Ingmar has re-designed his Ill Mind Moves site with a brand new christmas look which is quite cool. Love them snow thingies :) Oh, and the thing he says about me is absolutely true! Hail Odin!!

I have no idea what has happened to Richard, but I'm convinced that he is up to his head with work. So, until he makes a return I thought it was about time someone took care of the demo updates. So here we go, another boring demo update from me....

First up we have Arturo García Lasca who made an assault on church.

• He owned Daniel Lindberg by improving his Easy Run by 1 second to get 0:57.
• He also owned Justin's Easy 100% by 1 second to get 1:08.
• But he continued with Daniel's Nightmare which he also owned by 1 second to get 1:08.
• And to make everything perfect he owned Justin's Nightmare 100% by 1 second as well to get 1:29.

Arturo didn't stop here though. He took his newly advanced skills and proceeded to new maps:

• He took his Easy Run of lostwrld back from DanielH, improving it by 1 second to get 0:39.
• He improved Amrik's Easy 100% of darkages by 2 seconds to get 1:05.
• Next up was Dan's Nightmare Run which he improved by 1 second to get 0:29.
• And finally he improved Amrik's Nightmare 100% by 4 seconds to get 1:05.

Next up we have Prettyballs Andersson:

• Jonny followed my advise and made a demo on mexx3. He improved Justin's Easy Run by 2 seconds to get 1:09.
• He also improved his own Easy 100% of alpha001 by 1 second to get 0:55.
• And to round Jonny's demos off he improved Evan's Easy Run on cdespair by 1 second to get 0:46.

Amrik Kochhar couldn't resist doing a demo for this update either:

• He snatched the Nightmare Run on tohnsay from Justin by improving it by 2 seconds to get 1:39.

Welcome Fern from TeamFern everyone:

• He decided that his first map to conquer should be ikspq5. We received no-more than 4 improvements in one day, that's the spirit! :)
• The first one he submitted was a 1 second improvement over Justin's Nightmare Run which he did in the time of 1:21. Then he continued with a 1:19, a 1:18 and finally he settled with a 1:08. The last one done without the yellow armor!

And todays final demo is the coolest one and comes from Courtesy of Marlo Galinski:

• He bitch-slapped Carl's Easy 100% of czg03 by 14 seconds to get 4:31. As Marlo says in his .txt file, 'You have to aim like a mad-man'!!

There's a new picture of Robert Axelsson up in his profile. What a stud :)

....what is this ?

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Sorry, but I accidently said you had to name your demos for the new ROTW contest like this: c8_run_yourname.dem, but that was wrong, please name your entries like this c8_yourname.dem instead, thanks.

A big applause goes out to Ingmar for recovering some of the old ROTW info. Now I only need to figure out what happened to the Lost World and Hell's Castle contests. You're also welcome to send me any entries you may have done for the 136 and 1 Minute In E4M5 contests and I'll post them on the ROTW page.

As a little teaser of what's to come here on SDA I've decided to launch the new Run of the Whenever page, even though it's not completely done yet. I've sorted out all the contests on Ilkka's site too, renamed all the demos and dzipped them! I've also dug up the old SDA ROTW contests, but alot of info about those are missing, so if anyone can add a little light to who won and who attended those contests, the dates etc. please email with any info you might have at stubgaard. The Championship Ladder has been revamped as well. It looks a little more structured now. Oh btw, this was actually the surprise I was going to add to SDA at Christmas Eve, but what the heck :) And to all you curious persons at the message board: Nope, there won't be a new QdQ project this christmas, at least not none that I know of....

Thankfully Hannu Kankaanpää heard my cry for help and made me a fun map for the ROTW named The Janitor. I bet most people will have a few days off from work/school during christmas, so there's no excuse for not submitting a demo for this contest. This will also be the last ROTW contest for 2001. I hope next year will be as much fun as this year has been, speedrunning wise that is :)

Phew, last night was tough! But the funniest thing is that I actually got to speak with a foxy lady from Houston Texas, so you could say in some sort of way that my update from last night had an effect :) I got to touch her boobs, so that'll keep me satisfied for a week or so, and she actually agreed to be my private english teacher as well! It's going to be fun to see how that turns out :) Enough of that, check out the results from the latest Run of the Whenever. It has been one of the coolest contests so far in my opinion. Also check out the Championship Ladder to see who advanced and who didn't. The competition has heated up and Jozsef smells blood....

Oh man I smell bad, time to take a shower....

Th' Helter-skelter of th' Whenevah results won't be up tonight ah's afraid! Fry mah hide! Th' reason is thet it has been too long on account o' I've had an oppertunity like ah have tonight t'look at some foxy ladies an' crack open some beers :) I'll does it fust thin' when ah wake up t'morry....

I'll leave yo' guys wif mah favo'ite Arnold Schwarzenegger line: "Yer hankerin' t'fuck wif me? Yo' reckon yo' knows bad huh? Yer a fuckin' choirfella compared t'me, a choirfella! Fry mah hide!"

Adios!

Hello Folks. Sorry for the delay in doing this update, and also my absence from ICQ, e-mail, the Message Board, etc. (In case anyone noticed). The fact is I managed to pick up a rather nasty dose of food poisoning on Friday and since then I have either been in bed or in the toilet. Sometimes, unfortunately, both at the same time.
So I'll start updating, see how far I get, and if I don't manage to do all the demos then that's just toooooo bad.

Luckily we have hit the usual December slow-down so there isn't too much of a backlog of demos, but those we have received have been some real beauties. :-)

First we have a demo that I have been waiting to arrive ever since he did the Easy version. Amrik Kochhar has done a mighty improvement to Robert's Nightmare Run (or 100%, whatever) of hipend. He has come up with a new route that allows him to... No. I'll let you see for yourselves. 0:33. 5 seconds faster. In fact, he sent in two versions of this demo because Nolan didn't think the first version was asthetically pleasing enough. :-D

Next we have two demo's from yet another SDA virgin. His name is a familiar sight on the Run of the Whenever results table but until now he has never sent in a record. Ladies and Gentlemen will you please welcome Mr Wim Loones.

• Wim's first piece of business was to slap Amrik's Nightmare Run of kjsp1 back into the gutter where it belongs. He did this with nine seconds to get 1:03 by doing a much slicker Silver Key jump and generally not playing like a total coward.
• But it still looked a little rough, so a couple of days later The Looney improved it by another three seconds to get a very nice looking 1:00

Amrik has also done the Easy Run (The Long Way) of tohnsay. He has added a grenade jump and generally done a very slick looking demo which turns out to only be one second faster. It looks like it should be at least five seconds faster than Optic's time but you can't argue with QdQStats, it's 1:33.

Arturo García Lasca has been busy this last week since he found out that all his playing problems were down to not using WinQuake. He has improved three of the records on hellctle.

• First on his list was getting his Easy 100% record back from Marlo. He managed it by two seconds to get 1:29. The running is very smooth but the grenade work is a little desperate. :-)
• Overcome with success Ken then decided to have a go at his Easy Run. After not too much effort he managed to get the ogre into the right place to boost off and save another one second. 1:19.
• And there's no point in stopping while you're on a roll, so he also improved Optic's Nightmare 100% by seven seconds to get 2:02. Nothing fancy, just a good, straight forward, clean run.

The houstrps runs continue to attract attention. This time Rutger Baks has pitched in with a demo one second faster than Dan's Easy Run. This 0:33 is looking good, but is still not optimum...

We'll finish this update with some mad optimising from that well known comedy double act El Muchachos Optimiso : Jozsef et Valeriy.

• Valeriy Burmistrov, the man known (as usual, probably only by me) as Mr Grunt-Boost has done the demo we all knew would turn up sooner or later. He did the Nightmare run of close in the undoubtably optimum time of 0:04. Check it out: he was moving so fast when he entered the exit room that the grunts got scared and dived out of the way!
• And finally Jozsef Szalontai has improved both of the runs on coagula2. He beat Carl's Nightmare Run by two seconds to get 0:09 and Martin's "optimum" Easy Run by one second for 0:09. How did he do it? Well, you remember how Martin's (and Carl's) demo ended with a slope jump that curled round the corner of the top level so that they could do a rocket boost over to the back of the exit? Well, Joe changed this around a bit and did a straight jump up to the top level and then a boost over the dividing wall to the front of the exit. Simple! Sort of.

That's all for this time. Remember, there's only one day left to get your Run of the Whenever entries in to Stubby. I can't wait to see the winning entries and I'm sure that there is going to be a few suprise routes.

And speaking of suprises, the one mentioned by Thomas below will have to wait a little longer as I haven't managed to complete (or even make much of a start to) my part of it. Be patient, it should be worth the wait, it's made us laugh a lot already just thinking about it. :-) To be honest, I haven't even managed to take my new PC out of it's box yet. I really should get round to that some time...

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Good evening, my friends, and welcome to the wonderful world of speedrunning. And in tonight's update we bring you a redemption, some improvements, a returning prodigal, and the coops I couldn't be bothered to do last time.

But due to the marvelous soothing effect of vodka and medicinally herbal roll-ups I'm going to see if I can get through this whole update without being rude, crude or generally insulting to anyone.

First up we have "Angel Face" Amrik Kochhar who has not only atoned for his previous low quality submission with this beautiful one second improvement to Robert's Easy Run of hipend. He has also come up with a new term to describe this type of demo. The route here is the same as Robert's but he has managed to do each part slightly quicker: all the way through he was Fighting Against The Fractions. And as far as FATF[tm] demos go, this one is outstanding. (BTW Amrik. I am stealing your idea. FATF is now [tm] and (c) SDA 2001. If you want to argue about it you'll have to speak to my friend Johnny Cochrane). 0:17.

And being the little cutie he is Amrik has also put everyone out of their misery and done the Nightmare Run of tohnsay in 0:05, one second quicker than Fabian. I was quite suprised that this was the only 0:05 we received .

Next we have Anders "Nice Guy" Nordensten who has further improved his Nightmare 100% of altus2 by two more seconds to get 0:48. This now looks very slick and will take some beating. (Except that every time I say that about a demo it falls within a few weeks. Guarenteed.)

Next we have a one second improvement to Jozsef's Nightmare Run of Wind Tunnels. Who could do such a run? We all knew he couldn't stay playing toss, mass-appeal games forever. Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the return of Daniel "Hey everyone! Look at my cute little butt!" Hansson. 0:59.

And just to prove that he really is playing with the big boys again he has improved his Easy 100% of Wind Tunnels by one second to get 1:31.

Damn! I just realised that I missed a golden opportunity to make a comment about "Daniel going up Jozsef's wind tunnel". Oh well. I'll save it for when Joe takes this record back. :-)

Staying with the Swedes, "Cock Throbbin'" Carl Tholin has improved Thomas's Nightmare run of czg03 by 29 seconds(!) by using his Easy run route. Personally, I think that this 1:03 looks a lot slicker than the Easy Run and also includes a very cunning armour grabbing trick.

Getting back to Daniel. As mentioned last update he has teamed with Jonny "Breathe deep! That's the smell of a real man!" Andersson and Martin "Mambo wit' tha' love python" Selinus to produce a couple of very impressive coops.

• They improved the Easy 100% of The Slipgate Complex that Jonny and Daniel did with DanielA by one second to give them a lightning fast 0:26
• They then improved Fleck, Pflug and Wagner's Easy 100% of The Wizard's Manse by 2 seconds to get 0:44. There are only two demo's in this one. Jonny lost his because Jonny is a dick. ;-)

Then Martin and Jonny got fed up of Hansson's constant whining and did the Easy 100% of The Tower of Despair on their own in 0:46, 4 seconds faster than Ilkka and Juho-Jussi. An impressive piece of coop play.

And finally Martin and Jonny hooked up with Niklas "Do you know why they call me Pixlas? Come here and let me show you. Ohhhhh, yeah baby, that's gooood..." Wikstrand to do the Easy 100% of The Ebon Fortress two seconds faster than Robert, Rickard and Alexander. 0:54.

We've received another new profile, this time from Timo, and also an updated picture of Anders.

I hope you're all having fun with the latest Run of the Whenever, for the first time ever I think that I'm going to get within a few seconds of the winning entry. I'll still come last, but that's not the point. And do please try to remember that your entries should me mailed to Stubby only and not the main SDA mailbox.

That's it for now. My wife, the lovely Abigail, thinks I've been working too hard recently and deserved a present so she's just spent the money I earned doing all the work on a new P4 1.6GHz PC for me. So I'm off now to put it together. Stay safe...

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark). This includes the coops again that I accidentally included last time.

After one month of slacking we're back with a new edition of Run of the Whenever. You can find all the details in the readme.txt provided with the map. I just want to get one thing clear: I can't map myself, so therefore I rely on other peoples efforts to make a map for me. I can easily come up with some shitty idea on an ID map, but I doubt the majority thinks that is fun. So, if someone out there has mapping skills and would like to help out with making a few RotW maps I'd be greatful. Basically, the point I'm trying to make here is, that if you're not satisfied with the RotW competition (I know some of you aren't), then I'd appreciate it if you either gave me some help, or accept that I can't map jack shit......

On another note....We have a two cool christmas gifts coming up in the near future. One of them will be posted on Christmas Eve, and the other one is just around the corner. Hint: Certain persons may have heard me talk about some kind of award for SDA contributions......

Oh and btw, in case you guys think I don't do much for SDA anymore, I can assure you that I work my ass off with loads of stuff, namely QdQ stuff, and a certain christmas gift as mentioned above. And to be honest, Richard is a better updater than every other updater there has ever been on SDA, so you're better off with me handling the RotW/player profiles/new maps etc, while Richard takes care of the updates :-)

As I'm sure most of you have heard by now, Jozsef Szalontai has produced a demo of absolutely outstanding quality. What makes this even more amazing is that he credits Jonny with the new route tweak ideas! I won't say much more about the demo because I don't want to spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it yet, but it finishes off with a trick we all knew was possible, but I didn't expect to see it executed this perfectly. Gloom Keep Easy Run in 0:16, 1 second faster than Markus's thought-to-be-optimum time. Must Download.

Dan Stukanev has now done his fifth successive improvement to the Nightmare Run on houstrps. He repeated his previous route but managed to save enough health to do the final rocket boost to save one more second. 0:37

But unfortunately for Dan Thomas Bergendorff did the same thing but with a better final rocket boost to save yet another second and get 0:36. You're not going to let him get away with that, are you, Dan?

Moving on to sgc5 and the empty spot for the Easy 100%. Amrik Kochhar sent in this disgraceful 2:06 (which includes a nice egg demo showing just how badly a dog can fuck you up). He begged me not to post it but I've had a hard week so I'm going to make someone else suffer a bit as well. It makes me sad to see that one of the brightest rising stars of SDA can produce such a low quality demo. Luckily for him we also received a nice 1:37 from Jozsef so soon nobody will remember. Beat this, Amrik. Redeem yourself.

And it looks like I owe a pint to Matthias Belz who was the first (in fact the only) person to correctly answer my "palindrome" question about this map from a couple of updates ago. Thanks also to those of you that slightly missed the point and mailed me with the definition of a palindrome, but only Matthias knew that Bolton was a palindrome of Ipswich. Enough said. This subject is now as dead as the parrot I stole it from.

Follwing on from his drunken rantings last time, Ilkka Kurkela was as good as his word and took the Easy 100% of armorgod from Optic by 20 seconds to get 3:46. This now gives Ilkka total ownage of this level.

And the level domination doesn't end there. Anders Nordensten has consolidated his hold on altus2 by taking every record that wasn't his and improving one that was.

• He did the Easy Run in 0:20, one second faster than Ilkka. This looks to be optimum for this route, but we all thought e1m5_017 was optimum so who knows.
• He also took the Easy 100% from Hannu by one second. 0:30. This will be a bitch to beat. :-)
• And just for good measure he improved his Nightmare 100% by six seconds. 0:50.

The tod 100% madness is still not over! Annoyed at only getting an "honourable mention" last time Arturo García Lasca has come up with yet another variation on killing the first ogre. This makes the rocket ammo extremely tight but it does save one more second on both runs. Easy 100% in 0:29 and Nightmare 100% in 0:29. Will this be the final word on the subject?

And to finish up our single player demos for tonight we finally have our first demo from Rutger Baks. If you've been following this Message Board thread you'll know he's done the Easy run of tohnsay in 0:05, one second faster than Fabian. To be honest, there was never really any chance we would keep this run from being posted on the tables. We just kept quiet because we were interested to see how the thread developed and also because we didn't think it would ever arrive.
You see. Rutger has been saying he's done this demo in this time, and that demo in that time but whenever he tries to send one to us it "mysteriously" fails to arrive. In fact, the demo posted here (and Rutger's profile) were both mailed by someone else, someone we all know and trust. And that's when I realised...
Rutger "Minwater" Baks doesn't really exist! He is in fact Jozsef "schitzophrenic" Szalontai's Dutch split personality! All the evidence is there, you just wait and see if I'm right. ;-)

Since we're on the subject of profiles I think I should mention that we've had four new one's arrive in the last week. (From Rutger/Joe, Niklas, Anders and Big Tommy B). If your profile doesn't include a picture then please feel free to send one in, it always gives us all a cheap laugh at your expense.

In case you haven't seen this yet, check out the side panel on Fr3n's review of kjsp1. Pure class.

I heard from Pretty Balls Andersson that him, Iron Balls Hansson and Big Balls Selinus were at a 5000 person LAN Party this weekend. But you know what a liar Jonny is. There was probably only about 8 people there: The three of them, 4 of their friends and the very lovely Jennie (who I spent about three hours starring at through their webcam on Thursday night. :-)). They have sent in some very nice coop demos but I'm afraid they will have to wait a day or two as I am about to drop dead.

In fact there are already two first-class demos that have arrived while I was writing this update but I'm too demo'd out tonight to do them justice, so another one coming tomorrow, I think. And while we're waiting, let's have a little sing along...

Lemme hear you say Yoooooooo!

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Howdy, howdy, howdy. The deluge of demos has slowed down. I finally have some time to do an update at less than 500kph. The sun is shining. Things are gooood.

As expected, the majority of this updates demos are for the 100%s of tod using the new, quadded route. First we have the Easy 100%.

• The one and only Marlo Galinski started things off with a three second improvement over Anders by being faster at the start and generally cutting a few corners. 0:32
• But Anders Nordensten did the same fast start and cut even more corners to save another second. 0:31
• However, Ilkka Kurkela took a slightly different approach. He did an even slower start that left him with enough rockets to just bunny madly for the rest of the map blasting everything out of his way. This gave an overall saving of one more second. 0:30

Much the same story for the Nightmare 100%...

• Anders refined his route to beat his old time by 4 seconds. 0:33.
• Ilkka did the slow kill on the first ogre then sprinted to the finish in 0:30.

We also had impressive 0:31 demos on both skills from Arturo García Lasca. But unfortunately for him they came in several hours after Ilkka's.

Dan Stukanev has turned in a reeeal nice improvement to his Nightmare Run of houstrps. He skipped the red armour at the start and still somehow managed to survive the carnage in the middle of the map. This meant he couldn't do the RJ at the end but he made up for that with a much slicker Gold Key grab. 0:38. Two seconds faster.

Today's final demo comes from a very drunk Ilkka. He has improved Nolan's Nightmare 100% of armorgod by 41 seconds to get 3:53. The run itself is good enough but the .txt file is a classic, in which he pays homage to just about every runner you can think of. The whole thing just goes to prove what most of us have known for a long time: The Finns just can't handle their beer! ;-)

In other news, as I'm sure most of you are aware by now, TeamShambler is now closed. He announced this in a statement last week that was almost completely stolen from the one Nolan made a few weeks ago. When I tried to question him further on ICQ he totally evaded my questions by the simple expedient of not being there. Still, love him or hate him you can't deny the good work he did bringing high quality SP levels to the attention of the wider community.
So long, Shambles. See you on the message board.

But where does that leave the rest of us? How are we going to find out about what's new in the Q1 mapping community. Step forward everyones favourite potted filicales, Fr3n! Yes, it looks like The Fernster is going to continue where Shamby left off at his incredibly imaginatively titled TeamFern Quake Level Reviews! When I tried to question him further about his plans for the future of this site he managed to avoid answering due to the fact that I forgot to send the e-mail..

And finally, if you haven't yet filled in a player profile for yourself, or if you wish to update your old one, then grab this and let us all know who you really are.

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).

Fuck the new maps, just take a look at what Martin Selinus has done on Ziggurat Vertigo. He has improved Robert's old Easy Run by one second to get what looks to be an optimal 0:29. No bunny skillz required, it's just one long rocket ballet. Must Download.

Moving on to the new maps, we will begin with sgc5. Also known (probably only by me) as "The Palindrome Map". There's a pint waiting for the first person to tell me why. Winner collects. :-)

• Jordi Ros improved his own Easy Run by a further second to get 0:51. But that didn't stand for long because Jozsef Szalontai stomped forward with a three second improvement to get 0:48.
• But Jordi showed that he is fast regaining his old form with this 0:52 Nightmare Run, 14 seconds faster than The Hairy One. Amrik and Anders also sent in demos but they were not quite up to the standard we have come to expect. ;-)
• And just to get the 100%'s started I did the Nightmare 100% in the table filling time of 1:56.

Anders Nordensten has been putting some time in on the very vertical altus2.

• He began by beating his Nightmare Run by one second to get 0:21.
• Then he fell asleep over his keyboard and accidently hit his record key. When he woke up he found that he'd massively improved Jonny's Nightmare 100% by 24 seconds. 0:56.

Terrible map: Loads of lovely demos. It can only be tod.

• Martin did the 0:11 Nightmare run but still using the two RJs. He says that he thinks that 0:10 may be possible using the double RJ...
• And it looks like that's the case because Jozsef has improved his Easy Run by that second to get 0:10. Can this be improved? See Anders's demos below and then ask again...
• There was a real battle for the Easy 100% following on from Jonny's disgracefully bad demos. Amrik started things off with this 0:46, 18 seconds faster. There were also entries from Hannu and Ken but by the time they arrived Ilkka Kurkela had already improved it by a further four seconds to get this 0:42. He has also said he will take this record and the Nightmare 100% below the 0:40 second barrier at some point. :-)
• It was a similar story on the Nightmare 100%. Amrik gets 0:49. Slower or later demos from others.
• And that would have been the end of it, but then Anders read the .txt file that came with the map and noticed the line that said "Can you find the Quad Damage?". So he had a look around and found that there is a very handy Quad at the start which enabled him to breeze this 0:35 Easy 100% and this 0:37 Nightmare 100%. Nice work, Dood. Over to you, Ilkka. ;-)

Aleksander Osipov was not happy that Dan had ended his total ownage of compugib. And he found that, just like cracking one off the wrist, once he'd started he just couldn't stop.

• He recaptured his Nightmare Run by two seconds to get 0:31.
• And then he did the Easy Run in 0:30, one second faster than his previous.
• Then he pissed all over his previous Easy 100%, improving it by three seconds to get 0:34. This demo features probably the longest possible intermission grenade kill. :-)
• Of course, after doing the other three he just had to improve the much longer Nightmare 100%. 1:04. Five seconds faster.

Never one to leave a gaping slot unfilled, I did a Nightmare 100% table filler on perssp2. Shame I forgot to trigger the super-secret on the way out. I even saved a grenade especially for the job. 4:56.

We'll finish off tonight with two very impressives coops.

• Martin and Anders improved Attila and Peter's Easy Run on Ziggurat Vertigo by one second to get 0:25. If Martin could do a run as good as the one at the top of this update then a 0:24 or even a 0:23 should be possible. ;-)
• They then teamed up with Niklas Wikstrand to do this damn fine Easy Run of The Ogre Citadel two seconds faster than Alexander, Rickard and Robert. 0:24.

That's all for now. Gotta run!

All demos download is available here (UK) and here (Denmark).